I presented a “story time for big kids” this week, and the stories presented were Norse Myths! As I prepared for this program, I created my own versions of these stories, taking bits and pieces from different translations and weaving it all together in a narrative that works best for my tastes. I have been sharing these stories with you as I write them, in the order I presented them. I hope you enjoy!
This is the fourth story in the sequence.
One day, Thor woke up feeling very restless and eager to prove himself better than anyone else. For he was very strong, and very proud, and a bit enamored with himself. He decided to go to Jotunheim to see if he could provoke any giants into a fight. He called to his servant Thialfi and told him to prepare his chariot, for they were going on a journey to Utgard, the biggest city in Jotunheim.
They left very early in the morning, before Odin sat on Lidskjalf, so Odin wouldn’t see them leave. Thor was hoping that no one would see him depart (except for maybe Heimdall, who guarded the Bifrost and saw all the comings and going of Asgard), because he intended to cause some mischief and did not want anyone to stop him. As Thor and Thialfi were leaving the gates in Thor’s chariot, which was pulled by two mighty goats called Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr (whose names mean Tooth-barer and Tooth-grinder), they were seen by another of the gods. And their observer was indeed curious, and followed them out onto the plains before Asgard and stopped them.
They were seen by Loki, and when he caught up to them, he asked Thor, “Dear nephew! Where are you off to in such a hurry at such an early hour?”
Thor was suspicious of Loki. Would Loki try to stop him? Would thwarting his plans amuse the Sly One?
“I am going to Utgard in Jotunheim, I wish to test myself against Logi and his giants,” Thor told him cautiously.
Loki’s eyes shone with amusement and he laughed, “Excellent! Please, allow me to join you! This sounds like a wonderful adventure.”
Thor agreed, and so Loki, Thor, and Thialfi set off on their journey to Utgard. By the time night fell, the travelers found themselves deep in a snowy forest of Jotunheim. They began to look for a good place to sleep for the night and shortly found a curious cave with five tunnel-like chambers sprouting from the main chamber. They were tired from travelling and entered a short chamber that stuck off to one side, away from the others and fell asleep quickly.
Deep in the middle of the night, they were awoken by an awful rumbling. It was as if the cave were about to collapse in an earthquake! Loki spoke some secret magic to protect them and they tried vainly to go back to sleep. When the sun rose and shined through the trees, the travelers poked their heads out of the cave to survey the damage, only to find there was none! The world wasn’t shaking apart, but a giant was sleeping on the ground and snoring so loud, it was sure to have been heard deep in Nidavellir!
Thor stomped his foot and shouted at the giant in his loudest, most terrible Thunder-voice, “WAKE UP! TELL ME YOUR NAME!!”
The giant slowly opened one eye and frowned at the comparatively small god.
“My name is Skrymir,” he answered, “and what have you been doing in my glove?”
Thor and Loki turned around to see Thialfi still standing in the entrance to the cave, only to realize that it was no cave, it was the giant’s glove! And each of the tunnel-chambers was a finger! Thor was irritated to realize he had spent the night in the thumb of some giant’s glove.
Skrymir reached for his glove and Thialfi hustled the goats out of the main part of it just before the giant picked it up and put it on. The giant calmly and politely looked down at the companions from Asgard.
“I believe I know your names, for you look like you come from Asgard. The loud one with the hammer, you must be Thor. And you, with the knowing eyes and mischievous smile, you must be Loki,” he looked at Thialfi, a bit confused, “You, I don’t recognize, but by the company you keep, I’d guess you to be Thor’s servant, Thialfi.”
They were all a bit impressed to be so quickly recognized by a giant they had not met before, and quickly admitted he had the right of it.
“Would you mind telling me where you are heading?” Skrymir asked.
“Utgard,” Thor answered irritably. He felt a bit humiliated at having been caught sleeping in this giant’s glove and wanted to fight him to improve his mood. But the giant was being polite and Thor had to at least pretend to be polite back.
“What a coincidence! I am heading to Utgard as well! Would you mind very much if I traveled with you?” Skrymir asked the gods.
Loki shrugged and looked at the fuming Thor, who answered, “I suppose,” in a most grudging manner.
“Wonderful!” Skrymir declared. “Please, allow me the honor of carrying your supplies!”
And before Thor could protest, Skrymir scooped up their bags of food and put them inside his much larger belt-purse. Then he began walking away through the woods, waving for them to follow him. They traveled at very quick pace, for giants have very long legs, and at sunset, Skrymir brought them to a nice campsite beneath a gigantic oak tree. As the companions from Asgard came to a stop, Skrymir stretched, yawned, and collapsed to the ground, fast asleep, without even bothering to eat a bite for supper. He began to snore twice as loud as before, which Thor found incredibly irritating.
And to make matters worse, he was very, very hungry. He had not had time to eat breakfast after discovering his last camp was in a giant’s glove and Skrymir did not stop for lunch. Loki and Thialfi were hungry as well, but their tempers were not provoked nearly as much as Thor’s, mostly they were tired from traveling.
Thor decided he would open Skrymir’s belt purse and dig through it to find his food. But the bag refused to open! This made Thor angrier than he had ever been before. Spitefully, he drew Mjollnir, stomped up the side of the giant and across his face, and smashed him in the head with his mighty hammer!
Skrymir opened one eye and looked at Loki.
“What happened?” he asked sleepily, “did a leaf fall from the tree and land on my head?”
Thor jumped off the giant and grumbled in confusion and annoyance. As soon as Skrymir began snoring again, he ran and leaped at the giant’s head, smashing him in the face with terrific force.
Skrymir opened his eye again and asked Thialfi, “What happened? Did a little acorn fall from the oak and land on my face?”
Now Thor was furious, and a little scared. He had never before been unable to kill a giant with a single blow of Mjollnir, and he had hit this giant twice! And the giant acted like he didn’t even notice! As Skrymir began snoring for a third time, Thor climbed partway up the gigantic oak tree and jumped off to bring all of his weight and strength behind his hammer as he smashed the giant in the head a third time!
This time Skrymir opened both eyes and sat up. He looked at Thor and said, “I think there must be some very unruly birds playing in that tree. I think they knocked a twig loose and it fell on me! We’ll never get any sleep here.”
And with that, he stood up and began walking away, leaving the gods and Thialfi with wide eyes and slack jaws of astonishment. Thor stared at Mjollnir. Had it lost it’s magic somehow? Had he lost his strength?
Thor, Loki, and Thialfi all got into Thor’s chariot and allowed Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr to carry them the rest of the way to Utgard.
Utgard was the largest fortress any of them had ever seen. Which makes sense, because it was a fortress for the mightiest of the Jotnar. When they entered the main hall of the fortress, the King of the Jotnar, Logi, saw them and demanded, “Who are you? And what talents do you possess? For only the most clever and talented are allowed to eat with us!”
Stunned, the companions looked at one another, searching for an answer to this unexpected question.
“Well. . .”, Thor said looking at his companions, “Loki can eat faster than anyone in all the nine realms.”
“Is that so?” demanded Logi. “We shall see!”
And he commanded his attendants to set an enormous plate of meat on a table and sat at one end of it. He then invited Loki to sit at the other end.
“You shall prove yourself against me!” Logi roared at Loki, “Whichever of us reaches the middle of the plate first, shall win the eating contest!”
And with great cheering for both sides, the two fell upon the food, and began devouring it with tremendous speed. They both reached the middle at the same time, and Loki grinned. But when he looked down at the plate, he saw that while he had stripped every piece of meat from the bones, Logi had not only eaten the bones, but his portion of the plate as well!
Thor was disappointed to see Loki fail at winning the eating contest, and he turned to Thialfi saying, “My servant, Thialfi can run faster than anyone in all the nine realms!”
“Is that so?” demanded Logi. “We shall see!”
And he called to a young Jotun named Hugi and arranged for him to race Thialfi twice around the fortress walls. Everyone went outside to watch the race, and when Logi called for them to begin, Thialfi began to run. He ran so fast that you could barely see he legs, they began to blur. But Hugi ran even faster. Hugi ran so fast, he had run around the fortress walls twice before Thialfi had gone even halfway around the first time.
Thor was even more disappointed to see Thialfi lose the race, so he stepped forward and said, “Very well! Let me prove my talent for drinking! I can drink more than anyone in all the nine realms!”
“Is that so?” demanded Logi. “We shall see!”
Logi called to a servant and had him bring Thor a large drinking horn. Thor threw back his head and drank deeply. After almost a full minute, he thought he must be at the bottom of the horn, but when he stopped, he saw that the level of the drink had barely gone down from the rim of the horn. Disturbed, he took a breath, and threw back his head, taking another deep drink. He drank for almost two minutes and thought he must be near the bottom of the horn, but when he stopped, he saw that the level of the drink had still barely moved from the rim of the horn. Unable to understand, he took two breaths and threw back his head for a third and final drink from the horn. He drank without breathing for almost four minutes, and had to stop to take a breath. He felt that he MUST have reached the bottom of the horn by now, but when he looked, he saw that the level of the drink had only gone down an inch from the rim.
Logi laughed at him, which made Thor mad. “It seems you are not as talented at drinking as you think! But I will give you two more chances to show your worth!”
The King of the Jotnar called to another servant and told him to bring out his cat. For a giant’s cat, it was fairly small, but it was plenty big to Thor.
“Try to lift my small fuzzy grey kitten from the floor!” Logi challenged Thor.
Thor reached out and grabbed the cat, and lifted it up with both hands. But the cat stretched out and arched over Thor’s head. No matter how much muscle he put into it and how high he stretched, he could only lift the cat high enough to raise on of its paws off the floor.
Logi laughed at Thor again, saying “Thor, you are a weakling! You cannot even lift my kitten from the floor!”
This made Thor so angry, his eyes began to spark with lightning, which only made the King laugh harder.
“We are not afraid of your anger here, “Mighty” Thor. Perhaps I should ask my ancient grandmother to come out and wrestle you!”
And a feeble old giant woman came into the hall. She grabbed Thor and the two began wrestling. They struggled for long minutes, but Thor could not subdue her. Finally, she forced him to his knees, and then pushed him down so he was pushing against the floor with one arm.
Seeing Thor completely humiliated, the King of the Jotnar called “Enough!”, and the old woman let Thor up from the floor and walked away without even breathing hard.
Then Logi leaned in close to Thor and whispered menacingly, “Tell me Thunder God, has this trip to my city turned out how you had imagined?”
Unable to speak from shame and anger, Thor just shook his head.
Straightening up, Logi spoke aloud, so all could hear him, “Now I’ll confess the truth, Thor. We heard a rumor you were coming to us, looking for a fight. We were afraid of your legendary strength, so I used my great magic to trick you. I was Skrymir in the forest. Every time you swung might Mjollnir at my head, I used my magic to make it hit a mountain instead. Where once there were three mountains standing together, now there is a deep valley.”
Turning to Loki, he said, “And you, O Loki Silver-tongue. It was not I you faced in the eating contest, but a spirit of pure fire. Nothing in all the nine realms can consume as much, and as quickly as fire.”
Loki nodded knowingly, for he was descended from great Fire Giants, and he knew well the power of pure fire.
Logi turned then to Thialfi, “And the mortal servant of Thor. You are indeed the fastest being I have ever encountered. But you raced not a young Jotun, but a projection of my thoughts. And nothing can travel as swiftly as an idea.”
Thialfi looked apologetically towards Thor and hung his head in embarrassment for being tricked. But he smiled a secret smile to know that he was still the fastest.
Logi turned back to Thor, “Finally, Great Thor, that drinking horn had it’s end dipped into the sea. We were all surprised to see that by the end of your third draught, all the oceans in the world had receded by several inches! That was an impressive amount of sea-water you drank!”
And all in the hall, even Loki and Thialfi, laughed at that.
“And the cat?” demanded Thor.
“That was no cat,” admitted the King of the Jotnar, “that was Jormungandr, the World Serpent whose body encircles all of Midgard! Not a one of us could believe you managed to lift the paw from the ground! You caused several earthquakes when you set it back down!”
“And the old woman?!” demanded Thor.
“The old woman was not my ancient grandmother. That was Old Age itself you wrestled. No one should be able to have wrestled against it for so long. But no one can defeat Old Age, Thor. Not even the Aesir. Do not be ashamed of losing to her.”
Thor glowered and crossed his arms defiantly.
“But just as you cannot defeat Old Age, you will never defeat me, Thor! I will always know you are coming, as one can always see a storm coming. And I will always use my magic against you.” Logi declared triumphantly.
Thor could not hold his rage any more. He whipped Mjollnir around his head and threw it at Logi. But just before it struck, the King of the Jotnar vanished into thin air. When Mjollnir flew back to Thor’s hand he whirled around, swinging his hammer like a madman, intent on knocking down the fortress of Utgard, only to have it vanish also. And Thor, Loki, and Thialfi were left standing embarrassed and defeated in an empty plain.
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